Baby don't you know that you're everything good in my life

 Maxi died today, of a heart attack.
Denise just told me.
Denise my dear, my heart goes out to you.


When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.  ~Kahlil Gibran


It wasn't her time. We all knew that
I really wish there was sth I could do to help you
Cuz i know you muz be hurting inside.
I really wish I could tell you everything is going to be ok, but I know you will figure that out
on your own
There are times we wanna hold on so tight to the ones we love because we're afraid they'll leave
Hang on to her memories, and the fact that she always and will always be your best friend.
She was more than a friend, a partner. You love her with all your heart
Even calling her your "first baby"(and  yes that i was second..)
Her memory will stay with u for all eternity, 
her warmth and love never faltering. 
I know it might not seem like that now
But things will get better
Just know that she loved you as much as you did her.
She couldn't have asked for a better person taking care of her 
R.I.P Maxi.
We love you...


-How do I live by LeAnn Rimes-

But what it is, is something true

Stevie Wonder +  a cold night + Starbucks frappe = pure BLISS!
One of my all time favourites!



Going for NTU's internship fair tml.
Might be good to check this all out now before I struggle with it in year 3
And prob take a trip down, to see the peeps. Miss em' loads.

Bidding day.
Got one of what I wanted.
The other one. Eh, lets juz say could have chosen a better one.
Introduction to Magic Realism and Human Factors in Design

I'm craving a starbucks frappe!


-I just called to say I love you by Stevie Wonder-

Where are you and I'm so sorry

I don't know why I'm suddenly missing you.

I got reminded about all this past stories about friendships when I was talking to S

I told him that we need to stop thinking abt the bad things in the friendships and focus on the good to move on

So that we don't harbour any hate. I don't hate you. But talking about the good times made me miss you

You gave me random gifts juz cuz you felt like it

You were the only person I could tell that I was falling for a guy

You were the one who cried when I injured myself, even when I didn't

You held my hand and allowed me to squeeze it tight whenever the pain got too much to bear

You were the one who rode in the ambulance with me and told me funny things so that I would take my mind off the pain.

You were the one who stayed over and helped me get up the stairs

You liked to dance. But you weren't really passionate about it

But you knew I was. And that made u support me all the way.

You were there for everyone of my dance performances, even when we weren't speaking

Because you knew it was the biggest contest of my life

You were the only one who didn't say "Its just a competition"when I cried when we got silver

You were the only one me and Sel complained about, only becuz we didn't dare admit that we missed u

You leaving my 18th birthday was the only thing that stood out in my mind despite all the good things that happened that day

You're the only one I bother ranting abt on the blog about so many times

Because you're a friend that I hated to lose, but you threw that away.

All those times that I hated him for coming into the picture

All those times that I said "All because he came and spoilt it"

It was all just distractions, just things I had to tell myself

Just the person I had to blame,

To keep me from facing the pain of the fact that you were the one who walked away

That the choice to leave was ultimately yours to make.

We've all done things we regret. And yes, I made mistakes too, for which I would always be sorry for

But the one thing that I can tell myself was that I fought for this friendship

The feeling just wasn't reciprocated.

S said "But so wad about the good memories. Doesn't make a difference anyways. She's still gone"

And I said "We need the good memories cuz one day, they would overshadow the bad and maybe we won't feel the pain anymore."

Is that really true? Cuz its been 2 years and everytime I think about how you threw your friends away

All of that pain juz comes back.

And no 4 year degree is ever gg to help to explain to me why I'm feeling this way for a person who juz had me as an option.

Someday, I'll believe in my own words.

That somehow when I think back on you

All that I would see will be good memories

But that someday's not today.

I miss you by Blink 182

Hate on Me, Hater

I'm so late in updating!
Ok so i went for psych camp.
The people were nice and all...but the language thing.
Argh..I hate to even get into it here.
Just wish me luck for the next 4 years.
Seriously, broken english/bad grammar and juz plain bad english annoys me.
Its unprofessional, especially for a major that requires you to SPEAK. And in english.
Geez i'm gg to die there. seriously.

Anyways i came to a realisation recently.
Alot of things have changed, and maybe part of me being home for the last 9 months did that.
Whatever the reason, I feel emotionally I've grown. Learn to see the bigger things in pictures.

1)
I realised what it meant to be a gf. And i'm not talking the kind who does everything for the bf blah blah. But the one who realises to keep her personal life out of public eye. Not for the sake of myself or him, but rather or the sake of everyone else who has to read it. People who know me, know what i'm talking about. As for Ganesh, thank you, for being eva so patient with everything. It is times when we don't meet or don't really have much time that i can step back and realise the kinda person you are. Its hard sometimes, to be on the same page with someone completely, but the fact that you bother to try to do it is realli amazing. And your complete honesty and trust in me, for your security in knowing that you know me and for always being my listening ear for everything. Don't eva change, not for anyone. Cuz the world needs guys like you. Hopefully you inspire a few.


p.s. There's no other guy that i would trust to get another girl's number;)


2)
I don't hate anyone. I don't even dislike anyone anymore. I think of every reason I had for disliking someone in the past. Thing is, I don't now. It a weird way I have to thank some people for opening my eyes up to this. The people who u put in such high regard have actually let me down, who disappointed me and I feel stupid to have put them in a pedestal when the person I was disliking deserved it alot more. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! So here's my apology to anyone whom I've eva put at arms length cuz of stupid reasons. They are all gone now. Specifically to Yoga and Sapthala actually. I know they both can't read this but i feel a reason to say it anyways. They are both terrific people, whom i was keeping a distance from cuz of stupid rumours when i should have not listened to any. Whatever happened in the past is forgetten and I can only hope that you would do the same. I only wish I gave you all the benefit of the doubt alot earlier. And to Sel, if i eva made you choose, in ANY way, between ure two sets of friends? I def sorry about that too. 


Oh and hopefully really try to start being nice to everyone. No matter wad. 


3)
I realised the people in my life who i actually tell things to. The thing is simple..if you bother to read my blog, then you bother about me. If you don't, then guess you don't care about me as much as you think you might. To the people in my life who bothered about me in anyway, you guys are my rock. I love you guys tons and no one can replace you guys. Deepa, thank you for showing me that.. i respect you immensely for your mature thought. 


4)
I have learnt to be happy. Hah, cliche as it sounds, I'm doing things i love. Except dancing, that one I miss almost too much. I'm happy to be learning something in music again... and I'm happy to be writing. To finally have the notion that i MIGHT be able to actually finally write, like i always wanted to. Baby steps.


5)
I made friends with the people SOME label as "not normal" or not typical. Its juz sad that some give them labels and names w/o getting to know them. Its part of the reason for my whole emotional outlook on life. I'm about to study psychology and I think I don't need 4 years of education to tell this: People, including myself, should stop judging people by how they look or seem. 

Eh, i'm ranting so much.
Haha, OH OH
and everytime i tell myself i shall not talk about hate
Someone does sth or says sth racist/ or wadever-ist.
Its juz sad to see that in the century where we are fighting for equal rights for homosexuals or transexuals or wadeva is the fight that we're in for, we continue to still hate in other aspects of our lives.
Try spreading the love more peeps.
We may be brown/white/black whatever but we bleed the same red blood.
Stop hatin'
And maybe we'll get something great out of it.
Peace.

- Hate on Me by Glee Cast-