Watching, Waiting

I can't believe that in barely a couple of days, so much has happened.
Where do I even begin to describe??

My Story
I got shortlisted for A star's prestigious internship programme with the SICS Neurocognitive Development Centre.
And omg, I want that damn internship
I want it so so much that I'm gonna be so upset if I don't get it. Though the likelyhood of that happening is really high
So I dunno why I'm setting myself up for heartbreak. But I just know how much I want this. A chance at having a shot at a decent future. I'm not throwing that away


The Banu Story
So like after 2 yrs, we met banu, me and Sel.
And wow, was I shocked.
I had been dreading this for days, thought about cancelling
And boy, am I glad I didn't
For the second we met, I felt 16 all over again
We clicked just like that, the same way we did 2 yrs+ ago.
And damn, did I miss that girl...
I hadn't known how much till then. It felt like the old times, the threesome back together again
It was so easy talking to her, and I hadn't realised how easy it was to confide in her.
Best part, I missed how much fun we used to have
Such a great day. Loved it.
I'm so glad she reached out, I know, I know, baby steps.
But atleast one step's down.

But its a start:)


The Van Story
Prob the biggest break in her life. I can't believe she actually applied and did it.
And now our girl made it all the way.

Not sure if I should publish the good news here so I shall not,

But everyone would know it soon enough.

This is really exciting.

We'll be cheering you on all the way Poofie!:)

The Cousins(and Simon) story
I seriously think that i have some of my best conversations with these guys.
I look forward to every single outing I have with them
Its like, there are no judgements.
Say whatever you want and you shall be heard.
I love how the guys are so free with me
Saying fuck and talking about sex and porn
Honesty's freakin' refreshing.

-All the small things by Blink 182-

But I miss the conversation too

Round and round 
Just how much longer
on love's vicious merry-go-round?


You hurt, I cried
A fault of mine 
But don't you forget that even within all the anger you hide
Between anger and revenge is only a thin line


A never ending battle of tears
But was it all worth it?
Apart it hurt but together it also seared
There just had to come a day when the two halves no longer fit


Time and tide waits for no man
And that my dear, is a saying so true
Who knew, that here's where we'd stand
From the day with the hearts of red and roses all blue


Those memories- they seem so far away but are ever so close
you said I forgot, guess this time its you
and one day you'll see, a romance meant for prose
A girl, afraid of love that she broke down walls only for few
And the man who made her fall, deeper than she's ever had
But that girl survives, that girl defends
Playing his game, even if it hurt so bad


but the truth I have found
and this time the game ends- 
Round and round

The second I think we're working something out
Or atleast attempting to be as normal as possible
And that there's a chance for redemption
That maybe,just maybe, we might actually be able to talk
like we used to before and hopefully salvage a part of it
you say something that screws it all up.
Mixed signals much?
You made your move
Now I make mine
I give up. I honestly give up.

-How do you sleep by Jesse McCartney-

What makes her your every dream and fantasy

Jealousy,
Before you entered
Into my life,
I was the world's
Richest prince.
Now that you are in me
And I am for you,
I have become
The poorest street-beggar.

Jealousy,
You are my constant
Nightmare-mind.
You are my constant
Love-absence-heart.

Shortest is the distance
From jealousy to hell.

Jealousy,
You are your own
Ultimate
Self-destructive-indulgence.

-When it was me by Paula DeAnda-