Keep telling me I'm on my own

I guess I'm starting to worry people.
Which I initially couldn't see why
I was doing fine. Or atleast as fine as I thought I could be
I'm finally starting to accept everything and just start going with the flow with life
But apparently some think I'm still not over what happened.
Guess when I see in from an outside point of view it makes sense

I go days where I've only eaten one meal. Sometimes I miss meals altogether.
I have been sleeping barely 3 hours per day for the last 2.5 weeks already.
When I'm not busy in school, I'm mostly cooped up at home.
I spend some time with friends outside and the rest at the gym.
But honestly, I feel fine.
I know I'm not depressed or anything but maybe subconsciously I might be
I didn't even realise I was doing this to myself until my mom and friend pointed it out to me

I have gotta start taking better care of myself.

I feel like I'm finding new things about myself everyday.
For a girl who hates reality tv, I sure have taken a liking to the Bachelorette
Gotten hooked to How I met Your Mother
Its like I need to remind myself that true love exists
 I maybe a cynic at times
But I know someday i'll believe it. Or believe in happily-ever-afters

It still feels hard writing this. 
cuz i know there's a chance you'll read it
and that means i would actually have to explain why i'm even writing to you in the first place
Guess I miss you.
I know you're on the search to find some sorta meaning behind everything so that when you 
do come back, you and I can finally be able to go back to the way it used to be
Prob is, each day that you don't come back, is one less day of confidence I have
one less day of confidence that you will come back.
If ever. 


-Don't forget to remember me by Carrie Underwood-