Yes, an embarrassment, a living endorsement

And as part of stop embarrassing yourself, here's a little tip to all those who love annoying the rest of us with terrible english. and its getting annoying to hear this. while it might seem "singaporean" or "slinglish", there's nothing cool about terrible english. NOTHING. so give me, and everyone else who tries to understand you a break and pronounce the words right. I can't promise I can give an adequate meaning to all of the words but I'm sure you can find the words online if you want.

p.s. Edinburgh? is the capital of Scotland.and Tijuana is in Mexico 


Zoology- zoo-or-lo-gy
Tijuana- tee-yo-wanna
Film - fill-umm not filum!
Et cetera - follow the word! not EX-cetera
Cavalry- care-vel-ry
athlete - its only two syllables!! its ATH- LETE not ATH-THE-LETE
Arctic - Arc- tic
Antarctic(this one i have to admit, is hard)- Ant- arc-tic (NOT! An-tarc-tic) 
Alzheimer's disease - All-zhy-mers
affidavit - affi-david
Rendezvous - Ron-dey-vou

facade - Fur-saad
awry(away from the expected; unexpected) - a-rye

epitome(like at a high level)- a-pit-ta-me

edinburgh- eh-din-bur-rah

ethereal(for those who don't know, this means heavenly) - a-thee-ree-al

meme- meem

haphazard - hap-hazard(doesnt get more duh than this people)

facetious(basically means not seriously) - fur-see-cious

hyperbole- hi-per-ba-lee

colonel- cur-nel

boolean(some form of math i think? i can't recall) - boo-lee-an(seriously, another duh)

disheveled(just means messy)- dis-share-velled(no, did u GO to pri sch???!!)

-Embarrassment by Madness-

Watching, Waiting

I can't believe that in barely a couple of days, so much has happened.
Where do I even begin to describe??

My Story
I got shortlisted for A star's prestigious internship programme with the SICS Neurocognitive Development Centre.
And omg, I want that damn internship
I want it so so much that I'm gonna be so upset if I don't get it. Though the likelyhood of that happening is really high
So I dunno why I'm setting myself up for heartbreak. But I just know how much I want this. A chance at having a shot at a decent future. I'm not throwing that away


The Banu Story
So like after 2 yrs, we met banu, me and Sel.
And wow, was I shocked.
I had been dreading this for days, thought about cancelling
And boy, am I glad I didn't
For the second we met, I felt 16 all over again
We clicked just like that, the same way we did 2 yrs+ ago.
And damn, did I miss that girl...
I hadn't known how much till then. It felt like the old times, the threesome back together again
It was so easy talking to her, and I hadn't realised how easy it was to confide in her.
Best part, I missed how much fun we used to have
Such a great day. Loved it.
I'm so glad she reached out, I know, I know, baby steps.
But atleast one step's down.

But its a start:)


The Van Story
Prob the biggest break in her life. I can't believe she actually applied and did it.
And now our girl made it all the way.

Not sure if I should publish the good news here so I shall not,

But everyone would know it soon enough.

This is really exciting.

We'll be cheering you on all the way Poofie!:)

The Cousins(and Simon) story
I seriously think that i have some of my best conversations with these guys.
I look forward to every single outing I have with them
Its like, there are no judgements.
Say whatever you want and you shall be heard.
I love how the guys are so free with me
Saying fuck and talking about sex and porn
Honesty's freakin' refreshing.

-All the small things by Blink 182-

But I miss the conversation too

Round and round 
Just how much longer
on love's vicious merry-go-round?


You hurt, I cried
A fault of mine 
But don't you forget that even within all the anger you hide
Between anger and revenge is only a thin line


A never ending battle of tears
But was it all worth it?
Apart it hurt but together it also seared
There just had to come a day when the two halves no longer fit


Time and tide waits for no man
And that my dear, is a saying so true
Who knew, that here's where we'd stand
From the day with the hearts of red and roses all blue


Those memories- they seem so far away but are ever so close
you said I forgot, guess this time its you
and one day you'll see, a romance meant for prose
A girl, afraid of love that she broke down walls only for few
And the man who made her fall, deeper than she's ever had
But that girl survives, that girl defends
Playing his game, even if it hurt so bad


but the truth I have found
and this time the game ends- 
Round and round

The second I think we're working something out
Or atleast attempting to be as normal as possible
And that there's a chance for redemption
That maybe,just maybe, we might actually be able to talk
like we used to before and hopefully salvage a part of it
you say something that screws it all up.
Mixed signals much?
You made your move
Now I make mine
I give up. I honestly give up.

-How do you sleep by Jesse McCartney-

What makes her your every dream and fantasy

Jealousy,
Before you entered
Into my life,
I was the world's
Richest prince.
Now that you are in me
And I am for you,
I have become
The poorest street-beggar.

Jealousy,
You are my constant
Nightmare-mind.
You are my constant
Love-absence-heart.

Shortest is the distance
From jealousy to hell.

Jealousy,
You are your own
Ultimate
Self-destructive-indulgence.

-When it was me by Paula DeAnda-

Keep telling me I'm on my own

I guess I'm starting to worry people.
Which I initially couldn't see why
I was doing fine. Or atleast as fine as I thought I could be
I'm finally starting to accept everything and just start going with the flow with life
But apparently some think I'm still not over what happened.
Guess when I see in from an outside point of view it makes sense

I go days where I've only eaten one meal. Sometimes I miss meals altogether.
I have been sleeping barely 3 hours per day for the last 2.5 weeks already.
When I'm not busy in school, I'm mostly cooped up at home.
I spend some time with friends outside and the rest at the gym.
But honestly, I feel fine.
I know I'm not depressed or anything but maybe subconsciously I might be
I didn't even realise I was doing this to myself until my mom and friend pointed it out to me

I have gotta start taking better care of myself.

I feel like I'm finding new things about myself everyday.
For a girl who hates reality tv, I sure have taken a liking to the Bachelorette
Gotten hooked to How I met Your Mother
Its like I need to remind myself that true love exists
 I maybe a cynic at times
But I know someday i'll believe it. Or believe in happily-ever-afters

It still feels hard writing this. 
cuz i know there's a chance you'll read it
and that means i would actually have to explain why i'm even writing to you in the first place
Guess I miss you.
I know you're on the search to find some sorta meaning behind everything so that when you 
do come back, you and I can finally be able to go back to the way it used to be
Prob is, each day that you don't come back, is one less day of confidence I have
one less day of confidence that you will come back.
If ever. 


-Don't forget to remember me by Carrie Underwood-

And when you're not with

I miss talking to you.
I really do
And I was so happy that you came back as quickly as you do.
but for some reason when we actually do talk.
it leads to nothing but a fight.
Its getting pretty crazy. I feel like i'm back to those few weeks towards the end again
The few weeks where we did nothing but fight and fight and fight.
This is seriously getting out of hand.
I want to keep talking to you but when I do, there's a fight?
What do I do now?
Ah fuck.(yeah i know, i don't curse. but the situation calls for it.)


-You're so vain by Carly Simon-

Now I ain’t leaving till I hear you say what’s going on

So I went out with Shawn today.
First time in a long time that I actually laughed and smiled(for real i mean, not the fake smiles you put up so your friends tell you to quit being 'emo')
Felt good, to get some distraction from all thats been going on.
I know i'm whining on this blog alot about the same issue but its my damn blog so i'll whine as much as i want.

This is so freakin' hard. I know I keep saying it. Doesn't change how hard it is though.
I piled myself with things to do in school though. I just gotta hold on till mon.
Then I have PFOC comm, my volunteer work at the youth centre, studies and hopefully a little exchange.
Gosh, sounds crazy but i need something to get my mind off things.
Work does wonders sometimes.
If all else fails and i'm single for life, I'm so gonna be a career woman. Who said work doesn't solve problems huh? Ah well. whatever.

Shawn. What can I say, that boy knows how to make me laugh all the time.
Missed hanging out with him so much.
Had a really impromptu day, kept changing plans and suddenly out of the blue we decided on random places.
Went to the Flyer. First time for both of us but he had a 1-for-1 ticket which was cool.
He wanted to take me to the skypark but in the end we settled for a heart-to-heart near the seaside.

This is so random but HELLO Matt Bomer, you smokin' hunk of love! Seriously, God MUST
have been in a good mood when he made him. Just look at him. He can turn straight
guys gay. 

I hope one day you'll read this
I just wanted to say that I hope one day you can come back to me
And that somehow, somewhere, we'll find a way to salvage what's left.
It meant too much to let it go completely. 
It would all go to waste. 

-Someone Else Calling You Baby by Luke Bryan-