I really miss that girl

Ah the days when I could talk to you for hours about nothing but crap
I miss our sleepovers full of stories
Which one of us ends up sleeping even before the story ends
I miss that no matter what I had to say you never judged
And I miss our shopping times! How we were so incredibly different in our taste
but loved that we could pair each other so well
I miss the way you motivated me in J1 when I panicked about promos
I miss hanging out with you
Miss you tons babe,
Hope you get home soon!!
<3 you!

-She's gone by Steelheart-

You Can Be My Bad Boy, But Understand

Why in the world does EVERY girl fall for a bad boy at some point in her life?
Maybe I can't say every since I don't know the whole world but it really does feel that way
The one person whose completely opposite from the kind of person you wanna be with.
Probably one who swears, smokes, drinks, talks down about girls or something along those lines
The kind who sits around like a loner who gives that air of mystery
I think TV itself has proved it. I mean, I know its fiction but still its based highly on the fact that the writers probably get the idea from real life

I mean come on, even on Girlmore Girls(long ended good series though) Rory ends up with the good, old sweet-natured, well liked Dean who treats her incredibly well.

Then ruins it all by falling for Jess(below), the "bad boy" of Stars Hollow. No why? I don't get it.

I guess its the same with Glee as well. Good natured, sweet Finn in contrast to the bully, stud, Puck.






Every girl falls for that bad boy
Why that no one understands.
Maybe its the difference, the fresh perspective on life
Far from the one you're use to
But you don't take home the bad boy
You flirt or talk to him, just get to know him, know what makes him tick
You take home the good guy; the safe, reliant one who would take care of you in the worst of times.

- Bad Boy by Cascada -

Call It Education

Had the first day of my many many long days in NTU today
Was pretty cool I had to admit.
The free stuff?? JEEZ where do they get all the money from...
The acting chair and the provosts, they were hilarious and absolutely intelligent guys.
Man, i already respect them immensely before they teach me anything.
A couple of lessons and wise words i took from today
"The only stupid question is a question not asked." I really liked that line by Prof Bertil Andersson
One hilarious fella: "You can fail whatever subject you want but you must get a distinction in dating"

There was one speaker too. Honestly can't rmb his name:
"Do not think for a second that this is school. The best graduates are the noisiest, the ones who ask the most questions and the ones who bother to ask the extremely basic question. I teach Aerospace Engineering and I had a student once who came to class and once said: Prof, I know i chose this course but what in the world is Aerospace? It was a question that many cringed when he asked. I however, shook his hand and said he may have juz asked the best question"

I think I made the right choice. Hearing the words of seniors and the reactions of others when they hear my major may have made me doubt my choice at one point or another but there's one thing i'm certain about: that nothing intrigues more than this subject. I love how the myths of psychology the public believes are trashed and torn apart here. Psychology isn't about reading minds, making people listen or pure conjecture. It is the contempory study of one's pure being. Feel, understand, make sense of, QUESTION every nature, every little bit of detail: the differences in the way we react to situations. It is the biological bases of behaviour, sensation and perception, memory, thought and language, social behaviour, intelligence, motivation, learning, personality and development that all comprises the study of psychology. I knew I liked it, I just never knew I was beginning to get extremely enlightened. And yes, I've been warned about the nature of the study. That there will days where memorising the entire text would be the only way to pass. Or that no matter what you write your essay fails. Or that no matter how much you break your head, you would never be able to come up with a perfectly good answer to a question that the Prof couldn't contradict. 

But there wasn't a time where I opened a textbook even before school started and tried to read through a whole chapter.

Ah the things I can learn from this course and the people who teach it. Sky's the limit. I've never been so interested to learn so much; guess it definitely makes the difference when you're doing what you love. I finally made up my mind on my electives: ACTING AND REPRESENTATION IN THEATRE AND FILM & INTRODUCTION TO MAGICAL REALISM.
My 4 day week no longer exists but i'm ok with that. I would have a 5 day week to study what i get to do. Pretty excited, classes start next week. 

-Education by Modest Mouse-

Baby don't you know that you're everything good in my life

 Maxi died today, of a heart attack.
Denise just told me.
Denise my dear, my heart goes out to you.


When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.  ~Kahlil Gibran


It wasn't her time. We all knew that
I really wish there was sth I could do to help you
Cuz i know you muz be hurting inside.
I really wish I could tell you everything is going to be ok, but I know you will figure that out
on your own
There are times we wanna hold on so tight to the ones we love because we're afraid they'll leave
Hang on to her memories, and the fact that she always and will always be your best friend.
She was more than a friend, a partner. You love her with all your heart
Even calling her your "first baby"(and  yes that i was second..)
Her memory will stay with u for all eternity, 
her warmth and love never faltering. 
I know it might not seem like that now
But things will get better
Just know that she loved you as much as you did her.
She couldn't have asked for a better person taking care of her 
R.I.P Maxi.
We love you...


-How do I live by LeAnn Rimes-

But what it is, is something true

Stevie Wonder +  a cold night + Starbucks frappe = pure BLISS!
One of my all time favourites!



Going for NTU's internship fair tml.
Might be good to check this all out now before I struggle with it in year 3
And prob take a trip down, to see the peeps. Miss em' loads.

Bidding day.
Got one of what I wanted.
The other one. Eh, lets juz say could have chosen a better one.
Introduction to Magic Realism and Human Factors in Design

I'm craving a starbucks frappe!


-I just called to say I love you by Stevie Wonder-

Where are you and I'm so sorry

I don't know why I'm suddenly missing you.

I got reminded about all this past stories about friendships when I was talking to S

I told him that we need to stop thinking abt the bad things in the friendships and focus on the good to move on

So that we don't harbour any hate. I don't hate you. But talking about the good times made me miss you

You gave me random gifts juz cuz you felt like it

You were the only person I could tell that I was falling for a guy

You were the one who cried when I injured myself, even when I didn't

You held my hand and allowed me to squeeze it tight whenever the pain got too much to bear

You were the one who rode in the ambulance with me and told me funny things so that I would take my mind off the pain.

You were the one who stayed over and helped me get up the stairs

You liked to dance. But you weren't really passionate about it

But you knew I was. And that made u support me all the way.

You were there for everyone of my dance performances, even when we weren't speaking

Because you knew it was the biggest contest of my life

You were the only one who didn't say "Its just a competition"when I cried when we got silver

You were the only one me and Sel complained about, only becuz we didn't dare admit that we missed u

You leaving my 18th birthday was the only thing that stood out in my mind despite all the good things that happened that day

You're the only one I bother ranting abt on the blog about so many times

Because you're a friend that I hated to lose, but you threw that away.

All those times that I hated him for coming into the picture

All those times that I said "All because he came and spoilt it"

It was all just distractions, just things I had to tell myself

Just the person I had to blame,

To keep me from facing the pain of the fact that you were the one who walked away

That the choice to leave was ultimately yours to make.

We've all done things we regret. And yes, I made mistakes too, for which I would always be sorry for

But the one thing that I can tell myself was that I fought for this friendship

The feeling just wasn't reciprocated.

S said "But so wad about the good memories. Doesn't make a difference anyways. She's still gone"

And I said "We need the good memories cuz one day, they would overshadow the bad and maybe we won't feel the pain anymore."

Is that really true? Cuz its been 2 years and everytime I think about how you threw your friends away

All of that pain juz comes back.

And no 4 year degree is ever gg to help to explain to me why I'm feeling this way for a person who juz had me as an option.

Someday, I'll believe in my own words.

That somehow when I think back on you

All that I would see will be good memories

But that someday's not today.

I miss you by Blink 182

Hate on Me, Hater

I'm so late in updating!
Ok so i went for psych camp.
The people were nice and all...but the language thing.
Argh..I hate to even get into it here.
Just wish me luck for the next 4 years.
Seriously, broken english/bad grammar and juz plain bad english annoys me.
Its unprofessional, especially for a major that requires you to SPEAK. And in english.
Geez i'm gg to die there. seriously.

Anyways i came to a realisation recently.
Alot of things have changed, and maybe part of me being home for the last 9 months did that.
Whatever the reason, I feel emotionally I've grown. Learn to see the bigger things in pictures.

1)
I realised what it meant to be a gf. And i'm not talking the kind who does everything for the bf blah blah. But the one who realises to keep her personal life out of public eye. Not for the sake of myself or him, but rather or the sake of everyone else who has to read it. People who know me, know what i'm talking about. As for Ganesh, thank you, for being eva so patient with everything. It is times when we don't meet or don't really have much time that i can step back and realise the kinda person you are. Its hard sometimes, to be on the same page with someone completely, but the fact that you bother to try to do it is realli amazing. And your complete honesty and trust in me, for your security in knowing that you know me and for always being my listening ear for everything. Don't eva change, not for anyone. Cuz the world needs guys like you. Hopefully you inspire a few.


p.s. There's no other guy that i would trust to get another girl's number;)


2)
I don't hate anyone. I don't even dislike anyone anymore. I think of every reason I had for disliking someone in the past. Thing is, I don't now. It a weird way I have to thank some people for opening my eyes up to this. The people who u put in such high regard have actually let me down, who disappointed me and I feel stupid to have put them in a pedestal when the person I was disliking deserved it alot more. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! So here's my apology to anyone whom I've eva put at arms length cuz of stupid reasons. They are all gone now. Specifically to Yoga and Sapthala actually. I know they both can't read this but i feel a reason to say it anyways. They are both terrific people, whom i was keeping a distance from cuz of stupid rumours when i should have not listened to any. Whatever happened in the past is forgetten and I can only hope that you would do the same. I only wish I gave you all the benefit of the doubt alot earlier. And to Sel, if i eva made you choose, in ANY way, between ure two sets of friends? I def sorry about that too. 


Oh and hopefully really try to start being nice to everyone. No matter wad. 


3)
I realised the people in my life who i actually tell things to. The thing is simple..if you bother to read my blog, then you bother about me. If you don't, then guess you don't care about me as much as you think you might. To the people in my life who bothered about me in anyway, you guys are my rock. I love you guys tons and no one can replace you guys. Deepa, thank you for showing me that.. i respect you immensely for your mature thought. 


4)
I have learnt to be happy. Hah, cliche as it sounds, I'm doing things i love. Except dancing, that one I miss almost too much. I'm happy to be learning something in music again... and I'm happy to be writing. To finally have the notion that i MIGHT be able to actually finally write, like i always wanted to. Baby steps.


5)
I made friends with the people SOME label as "not normal" or not typical. Its juz sad that some give them labels and names w/o getting to know them. Its part of the reason for my whole emotional outlook on life. I'm about to study psychology and I think I don't need 4 years of education to tell this: People, including myself, should stop judging people by how they look or seem. 

Eh, i'm ranting so much.
Haha, OH OH
and everytime i tell myself i shall not talk about hate
Someone does sth or says sth racist/ or wadever-ist.
Its juz sad to see that in the century where we are fighting for equal rights for homosexuals or transexuals or wadeva is the fight that we're in for, we continue to still hate in other aspects of our lives.
Try spreading the love more peeps.
We may be brown/white/black whatever but we bleed the same red blood.
Stop hatin'
And maybe we'll get something great out of it.
Peace.

- Hate on Me by Glee Cast-