A different lover is not a sin

Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty this hatred. How did it find us, did it steal into our lives or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to us that we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war, hoping for their safe return but knowing some will be lost along the way. When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name...is it your name? - Lucas Scott (One Tree Hill)


I read the blog post of an old friend recently and it got me thinking about the whole gay rights issue that has forever been an ongoing debate.


Don't get me wrong, I'm as straight as an arrow but yet I can see the plight of those who choose to love away from the norm. What exactly is wrong with that?  The idea that God or the universe made us a certain way and its the only way to live is absurd. We make our own choices in the world and while I'm not religious, I do believe that God gives us the chance to make that choice, be it right or wrong. The right to love someone, regardless of gender, is still a right. You can't beat the gay out of someone anymore than they can beat the ignorance out of u. 


I saw this in the words of a person struggling everyday, simply because of who he is:


"..while it was easy for me to come to terms with my sexuality, it took me a while before i opened up to people..... at times, even being in a setting of all gay people, i feel that i just have to conceal my sexuality. whatever my reason behind that, i have totally no idea. "


So stop the hate. It seems ridiculous that while we have more problems in the world like hunger and poverty, we add on to the hate by simply making a small issue even bigger. 

I love this: credits to tumblr.

-Born this way by Lady Gaga(no other song could have done this post justice)

We could have had it all

Back from the cruise!

I got a fab massage, jet-ski-ed, mini-golf-ed, and got myself a tan. ah, life is good. (My tan's gone though)

Completely relaxing and well-needed trip with the family. 

Don't really like cruises though... I realise I love my holidays where I'm exploring a country

I get bored easily. Cruise ships are fun for awhile but prob not something I wanna make a regular thing

I rather travel. Whoo. More fun! :)

though I have to admit, I missed my sister.

Weird going for a trip w/o her. She would have accompanied me on the rock-climbing wall. damn. 

Got pics! :)

Purely cam-whoring with my shades

My high-waist skirt is pure awesomeness!

Check out the water track left by the ship! so cool!

Sanjay jetskis off w/o me. That's me waiting for him to get back

lazy to post others. just gonna make a private album in fb.

Anyways, a weird idea 'bout guys and manners came up during the trip that got me thinking. We all talked about it and stuff. I guess it all started when we had this cruise night and it was "suit/tie and cocktail dresses" as the dress code. Other than the African Americans and the Whites and some of the other people there, so many people were so under-dressed. Saw a guy in a polo tee and jeans. Saw ladies who wore sundresses. COME ON! if you don't know the attire, google it! It makes you look so freakin' sloppy! Anyways, we had a conversation when we went for dinner at the fine dining restaurant on the ship called Romeo and Juliet and it all started when Shyam pulled out a chair for me to sit. Nothing new, he and his brother do it all the time when we;re out at a restaurant as a family. But it did get me thinking after seeing the polo tees and sun dresses.

(Cousin Shyam pulls out chair for me at the fine dining restaurant. both boys wait till I sit to sit)

Me: You know what, the whole world keeps saying Chivalry is dead. Esp in Singapore. But you guys prove them wrong!
Sanjay: Chivalry was never dead in Singapore. It never existed.
Me: ah true! how often is it that any guy who takes you out to dinner opens the door for you or pulls out the chair for you? I mean I'm not saying at burger king or sth you know. I meant like a restaurant.
Sanjay: Even if I dont have the chance to pull out a chair for a girl, I would atleast wait till she seats first. Its basic gentlemanliness
Me: Wah paerims, the boys are awesome man. Till today, cousin or friend, they have never failed to pull my chair out when we're going for dinner. Or even open doors.
Aunt: Really??
Me: Yep, gosh, rare guys!
Aunt: Good breeding, darling. Good breeding.

Fine dining etiquette was sth I learnt cuz I do it quite often with the family but even if one doesn't. Its probably important to learn. Its not about showing off or standing out. Its about not being sloppy and not messing with the integrity or location. Imagine you have a client when you grow up? you gotta learn which are the places and how to behave there anyways! Everything I learnt about right attitudes and ettiqute was from my family.....like my aunt properly put : Breeding. But you dont have to have learnt all this from family. Any decent guy who wants to take a girl out on a proper date at a restaurant...or simply wants to be a gentlemen shud prob know all this damn things. And ppl shudn't say SINGAPORE and use that as an exception. It makes us seem like we are people who are not rightly brought up and have no class.

Good breeding indeed. Why don't guys in Singapore actually bother? Its not about being classy or over the top or anything. Its simply being a gentleman. Simple things that you just gotta learn, whether u're gonna use it or not.

Learn how to open a wine bottle. A complete turn off when u share a wine bottle with your date and u have trouble opening the cork.

Learn the etiquette's of fine dining. Its bloody simple actually. Starters always start from the outside of the utensils then work your way in. Dessert utensils are usually on top. Food is generally served to all the ladies first. Works the same with the wine. Hold open the chair for a lady and push it in when she about to completely sit. Place the napkin on your nap(NOT AROUND YOUR NECK -_-)

Learn the etiquette of wine. Always hold a wine glass by the stem(drives me nuts when people hold the cup. There's a reason why ppl say to do this. It to prevent the heat from you hands from messing with the chilled wine.) Never chill red wine, though it ok to prob chill it abit(I like it a little chilled.) but always chill white. Red wine goes the more rounded glass, white in the slightly thinner. When you open the wine, you always smell the cork first, then do a taste with the wine(swirl lightly then taste). Only then do you pour the drink to the proper level.

Try to be nice: Hold open doors for people, offer to carry bags and always let a lady sit before you do. Its only simple courtesy.

Date Drinks: When you're on a date, and in a restaurant that is posh or sth and you order drinks for the table, ask the lady what she wants. If its a surprise or if you wanna take charge, always order wine! Don't be stupid and order a beer or hard liquor at a restaurant when your having dinner! Its stupid!

Its funny, I SHOULD'T HAVE TO BE BLOGGING ABOUT THIS. People should know. Every time I convince myself chivalry is dead is Singapore, ppl like my cousins prove me wrong. It says something. It means that it possible that ppl in spore can do this. They just don't want to.  Lazy bums is what I call them.

On a lighter note, its G's birthday! and his sister's too. Went to their 21st today. So here's a shoutout to the twins(esp g! can't help it la, i'm biased. hehe) 


Happy 21st birthday Ganesh!:)

-Rolling in the Deep by Adele(MY GOD, I love this woman!)-

And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair

Ah! so much to update. I've been slacking off.
Finals are up and I'm seriously running out of time. Gotta buck up!

Met up with my girls on sat! Yes, ladies night to celebrate van's Ms Vasantham and my exams and tasseh's love life. Awesome day:)
Then today(mon), I had an awesome gathering with my clique. Haresh, Jaya, Van, Tas and me. Oh, it was so good to see the guys again. They always bring the guys' insight that is always unique.
Can't wait to see them again for my birthday!!

Vanisha Rajendra, I am so freakin' proud of you. Winner or not, u went into this competition and you came out of it a winner nonetheless. You're a supermodel in my eyes.

I feel like sometimes when ure own you're own,you feel like u've become this different person
But come to think of it, I guess I have always been this person
I just changed or adjusted parts of myself when you're with someone else
Pretty normal right? When there's someone else in the picture, there's two sides to consider.
Nothing wrong with that.
But I definitely missed me.

I believe that if ure truely happy with someone, it'll show.
And people who see you will know.
You don't need PDA or endless texts or fb status and I-love-yous to show the rest of the world that you're in love
No matter the situation, I have always made sure that my personal life stayed out of public eye
Not because I don't trust anyone or anything
Just simply because I don't find the need to let the whole world know who i'm dating/talking about/ missing etc.
And its weird seeing you do that. Even if its simply a comment
Cuz that was incredibly childish of you
And your friends.
But who am I to comment right?
I just feel like you're being hypocritical. You say one thing to me and then I see you saying something else to your friends.
That's the difference between us. What I say to you and to them, is the same damn thing. Never lied to you in that aspect. Guess you didn't think to offer me the same courtesy.
Ah well, hey, one more reason right?
Life wasn't meant to be fair anyways.

Ok, I better get back to studying(or atleast attempting to study) and ace that paper. Ciao loves!

p.s. I am so obsessed with Get It Right. Lea Michele's voice is da bomb. She kills it!:)

-Get it Right by Lea Michele(Glee)-

Yes, an embarrassment, a living endorsement

And as part of stop embarrassing yourself, here's a little tip to all those who love annoying the rest of us with terrible english. and its getting annoying to hear this. while it might seem "singaporean" or "slinglish", there's nothing cool about terrible english. NOTHING. so give me, and everyone else who tries to understand you a break and pronounce the words right. I can't promise I can give an adequate meaning to all of the words but I'm sure you can find the words online if you want.

p.s. Edinburgh? is the capital of Scotland.and Tijuana is in Mexico 


Zoology- zoo-or-lo-gy
Tijuana- tee-yo-wanna
Film - fill-umm not filum!
Et cetera - follow the word! not EX-cetera
Cavalry- care-vel-ry
athlete - its only two syllables!! its ATH- LETE not ATH-THE-LETE
Arctic - Arc- tic
Antarctic(this one i have to admit, is hard)- Ant- arc-tic (NOT! An-tarc-tic) 
Alzheimer's disease - All-zhy-mers
affidavit - affi-david
Rendezvous - Ron-dey-vou

facade - Fur-saad
awry(away from the expected; unexpected) - a-rye

epitome(like at a high level)- a-pit-ta-me

edinburgh- eh-din-bur-rah

ethereal(for those who don't know, this means heavenly) - a-thee-ree-al

meme- meem

haphazard - hap-hazard(doesnt get more duh than this people)

facetious(basically means not seriously) - fur-see-cious

hyperbole- hi-per-ba-lee

colonel- cur-nel

boolean(some form of math i think? i can't recall) - boo-lee-an(seriously, another duh)

disheveled(just means messy)- dis-share-velled(no, did u GO to pri sch???!!)

-Embarrassment by Madness-

Watching, Waiting

I can't believe that in barely a couple of days, so much has happened.
Where do I even begin to describe??

My Story
I got shortlisted for A star's prestigious internship programme with the SICS Neurocognitive Development Centre.
And omg, I want that damn internship
I want it so so much that I'm gonna be so upset if I don't get it. Though the likelyhood of that happening is really high
So I dunno why I'm setting myself up for heartbreak. But I just know how much I want this. A chance at having a shot at a decent future. I'm not throwing that away


The Banu Story
So like after 2 yrs, we met banu, me and Sel.
And wow, was I shocked.
I had been dreading this for days, thought about cancelling
And boy, am I glad I didn't
For the second we met, I felt 16 all over again
We clicked just like that, the same way we did 2 yrs+ ago.
And damn, did I miss that girl...
I hadn't known how much till then. It felt like the old times, the threesome back together again
It was so easy talking to her, and I hadn't realised how easy it was to confide in her.
Best part, I missed how much fun we used to have
Such a great day. Loved it.
I'm so glad she reached out, I know, I know, baby steps.
But atleast one step's down.

But its a start:)


The Van Story
Prob the biggest break in her life. I can't believe she actually applied and did it.
And now our girl made it all the way.

Not sure if I should publish the good news here so I shall not,

But everyone would know it soon enough.

This is really exciting.

We'll be cheering you on all the way Poofie!:)

The Cousins(and Simon) story
I seriously think that i have some of my best conversations with these guys.
I look forward to every single outing I have with them
Its like, there are no judgements.
Say whatever you want and you shall be heard.
I love how the guys are so free with me
Saying fuck and talking about sex and porn
Honesty's freakin' refreshing.

-All the small things by Blink 182-

But I miss the conversation too

Round and round 
Just how much longer
on love's vicious merry-go-round?


You hurt, I cried
A fault of mine 
But don't you forget that even within all the anger you hide
Between anger and revenge is only a thin line


A never ending battle of tears
But was it all worth it?
Apart it hurt but together it also seared
There just had to come a day when the two halves no longer fit


Time and tide waits for no man
And that my dear, is a saying so true
Who knew, that here's where we'd stand
From the day with the hearts of red and roses all blue


Those memories- they seem so far away but are ever so close
you said I forgot, guess this time its you
and one day you'll see, a romance meant for prose
A girl, afraid of love that she broke down walls only for few
And the man who made her fall, deeper than she's ever had
But that girl survives, that girl defends
Playing his game, even if it hurt so bad


but the truth I have found
and this time the game ends- 
Round and round

The second I think we're working something out
Or atleast attempting to be as normal as possible
And that there's a chance for redemption
That maybe,just maybe, we might actually be able to talk
like we used to before and hopefully salvage a part of it
you say something that screws it all up.
Mixed signals much?
You made your move
Now I make mine
I give up. I honestly give up.

-How do you sleep by Jesse McCartney-

What makes her your every dream and fantasy

Jealousy,
Before you entered
Into my life,
I was the world's
Richest prince.
Now that you are in me
And I am for you,
I have become
The poorest street-beggar.

Jealousy,
You are my constant
Nightmare-mind.
You are my constant
Love-absence-heart.

Shortest is the distance
From jealousy to hell.

Jealousy,
You are your own
Ultimate
Self-destructive-indulgence.

-When it was me by Paula DeAnda-